SUMMER
HOUSE TOTAL FUCKING CONFUSION!!...AS USUAL
Fri Aug 18, 2000 - 1:30pm
So this weekend was supposed to be a completely full house at Fire
Island, now it seems that people are not coming OR not sure when, OR coming
tomorrow instead for one day OR fuck knows!! Every time we go its
the same thing. The only person that seems organised about their
schedule is BITCH and Morgo, they're just going to get on the 5:30pm train
and get their arses over to the beach....no hassle, no dramas. Buddy
Weiser will probably show up at midnight, completely pissed and wanting
to stay up and party all night. Morpheus is supposed to be out on
Carl's bachelor night tonight, although he hasn't had a very good response
regarding the Atlantic City Casino trip, so I think he's panicking about
the plans and whether they should bother with the trip or not. I
think he should just stay in the city and go to a nudy bar or something,
I mean that's what bachelor nights are all about aren't they? Hanging out
with guys, watching women with big tits stride a pole on a greased up dance
floor You know I've always been intrigued by girly bars, maybe I
should organise a night with the girls and go, it'd be a laugh, don't you
think.
So hopefully Morpheus will turn up in a good mood, Candy doesn't know
what she wants to do, but then she never does, I've never met anyone as
vague as that girl. So I'm going out there this afternoon to open
the place up, make beds etc. BITCH and Morgo will arrive around 8pm,
then maybe or maybe not Buddy and Kiwi Boy will turn up later tonight.
My darling husband HOPEFULLY will turn up in the morning sometime, so let's
hope tonight goes well and that he has a good time, even if it is with
a bunch of boring farts.....not including Carl of course.
There was some filming going on at the gym this morning which involved
a rather muscular looking black guy with beautiful eyes but a bit thick
looking, doing weights whilst being filmed. I think it was a promotional
video or commercial for my gym as he had the gym logo on his muscle ripped,
Hulk style T-shirt!!
So after waiting yesterday for 4 hours (yes I was GOING to hit the roof
then realised he was coming round) for the Time Warner Cable guy it turns
out that he didn't leave the right box, we need a "watch and record" and
the dick just bought a normal one, so I've had to re-arrange the drop off
for next Wed. Please let everything be ok as that's the night that
the finale of "Survivor" is on, so if there's any problems with my cable
box I will go completely berserk..... The door buzzed at 8:30 this
morning with the RCN crappy man to come and pick up the cable box and modem
etc. I made Morpheus stay whilst he came in as I was still in bed
and there was no way absolutely not a chance that I was going to make polite
small talk to the cable man at that time in the morning...
I'm going to add a little joke that my friend Kiwi Boy sent me, it's
cute, you'll like it.
I may return later on when I've got to the beach house.......
Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter,
the princess.
But there was a problem.
Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what;
metal,
wood,
plastic
anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her.
Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired.
What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians.
One wizard told the king,
"If your daughter touches one thing
that does not melt in her hands,
she will be cured."
The king was overjoyed.
The next day,
he held a competition.
Any man that could bring his daughter an
object that would not melt would marry her
and inherit the king's wealth.
Three young princes took up the challenge.
The first prince brought a very hard alloy of titanium.
But alas,
once the princess touched it,
it melted.
The prince went away sadly.
The second prince brought a huge diamond,
thinking that diamond is the hardest substance
in the world and would not melt.
But alas,
once the princess touched it,
it melted.
He too was sent away disappointed.
The third prince approached.
He told the princess,
"Put your hand in my pocket and feel what
is in there."
The princess did as she was told,
though she turned red.
She felt something hard.
She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed.
Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.
And the third prince married the princess
and they both lived happily ever after.
Question:
What was the object in the prince's pants?
(Scroll down
for the answer)
They were M&M's of course.
They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
What were you thinking?
