Wed Aug 2, 2000

I was supposed to have a training session with Dirk Diggler this morning but considering after last night news and the fact that Professor wanted to hit Barrow Pub for a few drinkies, my session never happened...wonder why that would be??

So instead I went to the Bronx Zoo with my mate Buddy Weiser.  This was fabulous EXCEPT that we picked the 'no entrance fee' day, which was really stupid because there was every possible kind of degenerate human being there WITH family for free aimlessly walking around with a bizarre glazed vagueness upon their face.  I mean seriously some of the animals were better looking.  These people were scary, with their scary small fat screaming kids and there malfunctioned looking cousins......I really felt like I was in some hicksville town and that maybe if I took a wrong turn I'd end up enslaved into their family getting daily molestation's and eventually eaten by the two fat twins.........scarrrryyyyy!!!

So after getting over the initial shock of the local predators (not the ones in the cages) and trying desperately to forget that I had a banging headache and was dripping with perspiration (men sweat!!) we headed off to check out the animals.  My first port of call was "Congo" where they keep the gorillas which are my favorite, the trouble was though that everyone else had the same idea.  The line was very long and so we decided to come back later...

We saw giraffes which are quite beautiful and very graceful, we saw storks, antelopes and peacocks which seemed to be in the same area as the magnificent lion and his bird the lioness there was a small lake in between them, but what a shitty thing to do to the poor lions, to have their dinner constantly staring at them throughout the day.  I'd learn to swim if it was me!!

We saw two huge backsides of elephants plus a rhino that decided to pee when everyone was watching.  I think one of my favorites was the grizzly bears who were playing with each other in the water or climbing high on the rocks and wrestling....so seriously cute!!

Eventually after I'd perspired a gallon we lined up for Congo, we were in, in less than 10 minutes which was good as I was about to kill the fat kid in front of me who constantly whined and kept leaning back onto my feet....ok kid time to die!!

To watch these massive gorillas sitting and relaxing in their areas was truly unbelievable, especially as they really did look very content, not at all depressed or anything, not that I'd know what a depressed gorilla looks like.  There was a mother with a tiny tiny baby gorilla that was so small, it's amazing when you think how big that baby is going to become.  Of course there was way too many people around and also many of them kept smashing on the windows to get a reaction from the gorillas.  For fucks sake leave them alone, just observe.  It's funny to watch them as they watch us, with a smart kind of sneer on their faces.  I guarantee they're thinking the same as I am about these primitive people.  God I'm such a snob, but honestly if you'd of seen what I saw yesterday, you'd feel the same way, I know it....  Then again they probably thought I was a bit bizarre in my chiffon polka dot shirt, swinging my Prada bag about.  A bit like wearing Gucci Sandals in the jungle.....

So all in all we spent around 3 hours there, which was delightful, if not a bit sticky.

This evening my good friend Candy came round for dinner. Well it was supposed to be either dinner that I was cooking or going out for dinner.  We didn't do either, we just sat in and ordered a shit load of sushi which was delicious when we eventually go it.  It took over an hour, I know this because we watched the whole of "Survivor" as we were waiting.  Yes I know that's terribly rude to watch tv when you have a guest round, but it's Candy, she doesn't care!!  We were grilling her about her new boyfriend and the fact that he's rather young.  In fact HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS, I heard he was just 25 today....little sweetie.  Anyway she managed to avoid the question of "when are we going to meet him" situation all evening, even when Morpheus quizzed her about it.  I think she's scared that we'll embarrass her in front of him or something.....WOULD WE DO THAT???  Your damn right we would!!

So yeah, today has been a fun day, very enjoyable, oh also Cricket is back, she called about 10 this evening, sounding very jolly and relaxed.  Apparently she's been offered an art teaching job in Nantucket but I'm not if she'll take it.  I think she'd go stir crazy living there for good....

OK I'm knackered off to beddy boes for me...........