Tues Aug 29, 2000

Eventually I check in, run to the metal detector thingy, get through there with only one bleep (I usually have to be stripped searched...no honest I do, it's quite nice really).  Then of course some dick with a big long stick thing wants to go through my computer bag thoroughly to which I replied "fine, but sweetie you'd better move it, because I have 10 mins to catch the plane".  He let me through with a hard stare of authority....yeah right, bite me!!

Now I'd completely forgotten that in England the weekend just gone had been a Bank Holiday weekend which meant that a whole bunch of fucking English tourists had decided to descend on Manhattan for the weekend, which meant that my flight was absolutely packed to the brim.  My seat was a window seat (so that I could crash out) next to a middle aged couple.  My first reaction was to scream and try to fit myself into an overhead compartment as I absolutely hate sitting next to complete strangers on planes.  As it turned out Emilie (the wifey) and her husband Mark were lovely.  This I didn't realise at first because Emilie had a headache and scowled at me when I first approached, which of course being the good natured person I am, worried me somewhat...yeah right.  I was like ok lady, don't start with me, I couldn't get any ciggies or booze or chocolates, not even a crappy tabloid to read, so don't start...OK??

So after my routine of two Bloody Mary's followed by Chardonnay and meal I downed a couple of sleeping tabs  and off into my slumber I went.  Not sure how long I slept, maybe 5 hours, but when I woke we had one hour until landing....not a bad flight at all.  I started to chat with Emilie who made me laugh as she was stealing the British Airways cutlery...how cool is that.  Apparently she's getting a full set of 8 pieces for her daughter.  Not that her daughter is hard up for cutlery, just because her mother is nuts enough to steal it and it's fun.   I explained to her that I always try and steal most things from hotel rooms, even the sheets to which she completely agreed..."what's wrong with that"? she said, well said, try telling Morpheus that!!

Anyway they were both lovely people and wanted this web site address, to which I gladly gave but warned them that it can get a bit risky, especially my language, but you know what I think Emilie can handle it...............

7:30ish am
OK so I'm sat on the train heading from Heathrow to Paddington Station.  Let me tell you this thing is great, it takes approximately 15 minutes to get to the centre of London which is brilliant considering the tube (subway to Yanks) would take 55 minutes and taxis take, well a long time.  The perfect way to travel.
 

8:30am
Got to Lucy and Grants place...to which Lucy hurriedly made me a steaming cup of hot tea....mmmm delicious.   We exchanged our usual gossip which wasn't really up to much, even so I can't mention any of it, because everyone involved reads this page....crap!!

I desperately wanted to sit around her apartment all day and do absolutely nothing because I was pretty tired and wanted to watch British tv.  This was not to be because I had a lunch date and lots of chores to do, which included purchasing a skin tone strapless bra...not a problem, go to Marks and Spencers.
This I did, after meeting my friend Sarah and her adorable son George who is only 18 months but looks 5, he's huge, I think she's breast feeding the boy on fucking Krytonite.  So can you believe Marks and Spencer's (M&S) didn't have skin toned bras, oh my god, what am I to do.  Anyhow firstly we went for lunch which was delightful even more so after a few glasses of wine, watching George spread as much ketchup on his face as humanly possible!!!  He is adorable, he like me as well, which I wasn't too surprised at because kids generally do like me.  Not sure why as I'm really not that nice to animals and adults, but kids see something else in me.  Maybe it's because I don't feel that I have to talk grown up to them and can just be silly like they are, in fact I'm probably more silly than the kids are.  ANYWAY....we ate, caught up with lots of juicy gossip to which Sarah is a goddess at...and no I can't say anything, will definitely get into too much trouble.  However it DOES concern people in London...that's all I'm saying!!

Anyway getting back to Marks and Spencer's as I nearly forgot to tell you that we very nearly lost George, I mean come on the boy is only 18 months but my god can that kid move.  Within 4 seconds he was gone, of course Sarah was hysterical like any mother would be, but so was I, running into the loos, running around the floor like a mad woman I was.  Of course within 30 seconds we'd found him, but what a scare that was....Be warned new mothers those buggers can move!!

We then took George to Kensington Park where incidentally the Palace is, where flowers for Diana's third anniversary of her death were being placed, which was rather bizarre, just felt a bit weird.  Anyway this kids park is cool, not the people as most of them looked inbred to be honest, but the frames, slides and the big ship are really really cool.  George splashed about for a bit, went off for a walk, picked up a couple of 3 year old chicks and we headed back.....

6pm
My mate Kevin from Manchester was in London, called me at Lucy's to ball me out for not letting him know that I was around.  I WAS  going to have a relaxing bath before we went out this evening but that was not meant to be as Kevin call was made around the corner. So within 5 minutes my adorable pal was round, of course we HAD to open some wine, it's only polite.  Lucy came home shortly afterwards, after only working for 4 hours...good for her.  Then last but not least my mate SFNB popped round.  It was great to have my boys there, I really miss them and emailing and phone calls sometimes are just not good enough.  We quickly tried to catch up...which is impossible as we all do lots of different things and it would take many hours to really get up to date, so we basically sat and took the piss out of each other for half an hour.  We had to meet SFNB's wife at 7:30pm, so time was of the essence as I'm sure she wouldn't of wanted to wait in a bar by herself.  We all met up later, which also included my mate Kay and her new slim lined boyfriend John.  Kay is a beautiful girl, always has been, in fact when people  have asked why she wasn't a model, her reply has always been "I'm too short".  You've got to lot the ego.......

So basically the night went like this, I got impressively pissed after a few Cosmopolitans and a shit load of wine.  We had dinner at some nice place to which I have absolutely no recollection, I didn't eat either just played with my food....baaaaddd!!  Then we headed (apparently) to another bar where I got really really drunk, then I was marched out and put in a cab with Lucy...

There you go, first night in London, can't remember a sodden thing