THE NINTH GATE - Starring Johnny Depp and some French Bird.  Directed by pervy Roman Polanski

Absolute bag of shite.  It starts quite mysteriously, so therefore arouses your appetite.  From the beginning the French bird is always turning up, then at one point she glides likes someone from the Matrix down some stone steps, so you think aha.....this is very interesting.  Unfortunately though you never find out whether she's a fucking angel OR actually the devil (well she is French).  The film just suddenly ends and your left not knowing whys? what fors? nothing!!  Toss!!

THE WHOLE NINE YARDS - Starring Matthew Perry, Bruce Willis and that big black guy that was in "The Green Mile"

This is even worse than above.  The acting is diabolical, Matthew Perry is not funny whatsoever, then again maybe one scene where he lets a can of beer just breeze right past him after it's been thrown for him to catch...that made me giggle.  It just got so stupid that I began to hate everybody in it.  People shoot each other, blackmail, shagging, conspiracy, there's everything in this film that could be definitely used in a more constructive way.  Obviously the directors decided to make Mr. Perry and Mr. Willis look like complete wankers!!!  And let me tell you, they succeeded BIG TIME......

CONCLUSION: DO NOT WATCH ANYTHING EVER THAT HAS THE WORD NINE IN IT....COMPRENDE????

So did anyone see "Survivor" last night?  God I love that show, even more than "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire", seriously!!  You can feel the tension between the people on the island now, there all getting very sneaky and extremely cocky.  It was great to see that creep Gregg get voted off last night, I'm not into that guy at all, and if that stupid dimwit Colleen continues to see him after the show then she's nuts. He's a typical self-centred dick, would drop you as quick as her picked you up.  I've been around people like that, I know exactly how they work!!!

Did you see it when they're families sent over videotapes to say hi?  Did you see the truck woman's husband, fuck me he was a great big fat twat.  Oh my god girlfriend, stay on the island, don't return to the world of fatness and sloveness.....  I did feel really sorry for Jenna though,  not having the tape of her two girls, what was her mother thinking?  I mean isn't that really on the major priority list "get the videotape of grandchildren to mummy really fucking quickly"  The producers obviously gave the woman a time limit and she still messed up.  Personally I'd have to kill her....

So I wonder who it's going to be next week, I think they should thrown Gervase (the skinny black guy) right off that island man.  He's a lazy good for nothing dick!!  He also refers to women as stupid cows, then again so does my dad....hey ho!!

There's no particular reason why I've decided to use a black background  today...just felt like it.  I'm not down or anything, in fact I'm pretty happy today.  Even happier actually as my good friend BITCH is coming over in a couple of hours and then we're off to Rhone, a new bar in the Meat Packing District, not been yet so I wanted to check it out.  The only downfall is that BITCH can really drink, in fact the woman has hollow legs, so I think I'm in for a big night.

So on that note, I'll be off.  Feel free to email me with your opinions on who is going to be chucked off that island next week, if enough people give me their ideas then I'll put together a little report on it..

adios amigos....