WEIRD AND LOST

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Wed, May 17, 2000 - 5:15pm

I feel a bit lost today, don't know why just do. I went up to the roof deck to sunbathe and STILL felt strange, not quite myself. Maybe I'm just tired. After a not so late night last night, I woke up around 7am and COULD NOT get back to sleep. Morpheus thought this was very amusing and chatted to me constantly until he left for work, looking all very happy with himself.

I tried to get back to sleep but couldn't, made a cup of tea, read my book and zonked out again. There's not much going on at the office (although I''m sure Jen would tell you a different story), so today is MY day, and for the life of me I don't know what to do with myself..

Yes I know sunbathing is a pretty good way to waste a day, but it makes me feel guilty and that stupid book ("A Certain Age") really wound me up. The character in it "Florence" is really pathetic, self absorbed, materialistic, silly cow. Maybe I feel weird because her character is a bit like myself and that I hate to think that I AM actually like that. Nah....god I know I can be self absorbed, but I don't think I'm materialistic and uncaring. Stupid book, wish I'd never started it.

I've just returned from the post office after mailing my mother's boots. Jesus that was a pain, packing the boots I mean, NOT the actual posting of. In fact this was the least troublesome mailing I've ever done at that post office. Usually you have your box contained with, well whatever you happen to be sending, in the box that you assume is correct with the assumed correct forms and stickers to be stuck on box. So you wait inline like a lemon for 20 minutes, only to then be told in a sneery way that you have the wrong box for that sticker, or the wrong sticker for that box WHATEVER!! Basically just go away and die you fucking moron (well at least that's what I think they'd like to say). It really is a very stressful experience, also after the whole getting the box and sticker thing right, it then costs you $trillions to send the fucking thing! BLAH!

God I'm a wingy old cow today aren't I???

I told my friends last night that they have to think up alternative names that I can use when writing this daily journal. This caused interest, because they then wanted to know what I would say about them and if I was ever going to be mean or embarrass them etc etc.

WELL HOW SHOULD I BLOODY WELL KNOW! IF YOU PISS ME OFF OR DO SOMETHING EXTRAODINARILY FUNNY OR STUPID, THEN OF COURSE I'M GOING TO MENTION IT, IF NOT THEN I WON'T .......COMPRENDE???

Wow I am in a strange mood today, hope it doesn't continue into this evening as we're out for a Greek Dinner with friends tonight. Really looking forward to it, will let you know what happens.