HHEELLOO.....I woke up today at 11:37am, can you fucking believe it, how bad is that, or maybe it's good, maybe I just really needed that sleep.  Anyhow I wish I could say that I leapt out of bed with a jolly spring in my step, more like dragged myself out, took one look at my freaky bedhead hair and went into a depression, BUT I didn't return to my lovely comforter, no no, I got my shit together and hit the gym.  I was only going to do some running and skipping, because I hadn't taken my "Ripped Fuel" food suppressant tablets and I didn't have any energy at all.  However I determined that the weather outside looked a bit crappy so I decided to do a little extra more work, until I went outside to skip and realized that it was beautiful and DEFINITELY sun bathing weather.  So I ran round the gym like the Tanzmanian devil, glaring at other people that may be walking towards the apparatus that I wanted to use, to make them feel inferior and walk away...actually it worked, but then the poor dear was about 85, by the time she'd walked over to it I would of do 3 sets of 20.....please!!

I bumped into my friend Shelagh in the changing rooms just as she was putting on her bathing suit, my god that woman has huge boobs, they never look that big when she's working out, but then she always wears quite baggy T-shirts.  Actually she's looking pretty good, I thinks it's because she's in love with a woman called something beginning with M I think....oh yeah she's a lesbian.  She's a would be actress, doesn't get a great amount of work, but I'd say steady enough for her to eat well enough.  She's been offered to go, now I can't remember where she said, Las Vegas I think, to interview the women's frisbee team (didn't know it was considered a professional sport) and she certainly seems very excited about that.  I'm thinking that maybe it's got to do with the fact that she's a LESBIAN AND THERE ALL WOMEN!!....go Shelagh!!

Shelagh was braving it and sunbathing around the pool.  Being so white at present, I feel intimidated around the pool because basically everyone stares at each through their Gucci Black sunglasses and I just feel a bit paranoid about my whiteness and my oversized belly.  So I opted to go out on the sun deck and put the back of my lounger against the view from the running machines.  I'm happier to do this, until I get a bit of color, then I'll be there, wearing the thongs, sticking my arse in the air, talking loudly on my imaginary cell phone, you know...whatever it takes to get attention.  You do realize I am only joking, if there is such a thing as a prudish woman in New York, then it's me, oh yeah, call me Mrs. Prude.  I'm literally the only woman in the gym that goes to the showers with a towel around her, all the others just drag it or sling it over one shoulder and prance about, bare arse and all hanging out.  Good for them, but I just feel weird, always have done.  I think maybe it's my upbringing, we didn't show our bodies in my family, Jesus, thank god, what with my dad's arse and mums big old juggy tits, no thank you...don't want to see that!!

Shit I've just realized that I've forgotten to pay my bills today, must do it tomorrow or I'm dead.  Also it's my brothers birthday June 5, he lives in Gran Canary with his girlfriend, hanging out, smoking dope and partying.  Guess how old he's going to be?  30, can you believe it, man of his age just hanging...good for him.

So for the first time tonight I cooked couscous, can't really say cooked because you just boil it.  Hey come on, I've never used it before.  So I got some Tuna steak, Morpheus spiced that up and I made the couscous with a bunch of vegetables and we ate it with a nice bottle of Merlot.  It was lovely.
We watched "Man in the Moon" tonight, my god Andy Kaufman was absolutely barking mad, crazy, freaky guy.  I mean he was a very smart guy, knew exactly how to wind people up and push their buttons, but was he funny?  For me, no, I just couldn't see the humor in him at all.  I got from the movie that not a lot of other people did either.  By the way Jim Carrey was brilliant, I mean you really thought at some times that it WAS Andy Kaufman, he was that good.  I enjoyed the movie it was good.  OK can someone tell me how come Courtney Love has such fabulous skin when she's spent the past 15 years taking hard drugs with her band (Hole) and that dick she was married to?  I mean is it good lighting and make-up, I think not.  Apparently in a girlie magazine I read, she really does have great skin...it's not fair.  I sit here everyday with my red rosy cheeks that everyone over here say's look so cute and British.  Well screw that I want to be flawless like every other American woman.  Being my age and having acne rosacea is no laughing matter, let me tell you.

Right I'm off, speak to you tomorrow