The reason we go to the Pocono's is to acquire our christmas trees, which by the way we get for free because Sweat Pant Boy's parents have their very own christmas tree farm up there, named The Newsanger's Farm.
So hence because he's our pal, we get free trees.
It really is the most beautiful place and of course because we go up for the weekend, we always stay in the Clarion Hotel, which is the cheesiest hotel in the world, with an equally cheesey bar, with seriously sad people in it.
The others went up on Friday, but we drove up this afternoon instead. Morpheus was supposed to have organised a big Explorer type 4-wheel drive thingy, to fit our tree, but they'd all gone and so we ended up with a white pimp-type Lincoln Marquis, or something like that. Horrible bloody thing it is, but what can we do, we have to get there some way.
And besides because we're off to Mexico next Saturday, we decided just to get a small 5 footer, so that it's real easy to decorate and real easy for me to dispose of before we leave next week. &nbps;I guess we could leave it here, but the thing will be SO dead by the time we get back and probably look really really bad.
Ok so where was I? Oh yeah so today we got up around 11 and eventually set off for the Pocono's around 1 I think. We said our goodbyes to Lucy and Grant and headed out, via MacDonalds for a huge hangove cheeseburger...
It only takes about 1.5 hours to get to Pocono's, basically you take the George Washington Bridge and then keep going on 80 West for like 1.5 hours...piece of piss mate.
So we meet the gang at Target, which clearly is the best store EVER. I got loads more decorations and a couple of stockings, so that me and Morpheus can fill them with little daft gifts and hang them in our hotel room in Mexico....cute huh??
Ok so tonight we all went to our usual place, not too far from the hotel...shit what's it called, can't remember. Basically it's a pretty cool hangout for the Pocono's and they always have a band playing. The trouble is though which I remember from last year, is that these bands spend FOREVER setting up and then they play like 5 songs and that's it. Although these guys were the cover band for the BIGGER AND CLEARLY BETTER band, but we'd eaten and were in desperate need to get to Whispers, which is our hotels nightclub, which is full of lesbians with mullet haircuts and fat men that actually do check myself, Mafia and Aphrodite out which is clearly a fucking nerve is you ask me. I remember last year on the way there in Professor's car, the radio station were announcing that evening's band that were playing at Whispers and how excited everyone should be and that they should get there early before the place gets too wild. I mean HHHEELLLOO, clearly this is the ONLY place around that is open till 4, with licence and with the faint hope of one of these nasty looking individuals getting laid.
Anyway we love it at this place, we just sit like snotty New Yorkers and laugh at all the people around us. Actually the band that were playing were particularly good, they played good classic American rock all night, which was a bit boring after a while but better than listening to Dire Straits all night which is what we've previously had to endure.
There was this one guy who was making me and Professor crack up. He was with a date, I think they'd all been to a wedding because they were all dressed up, then again this IS Whispers, maybe they think they have to dress up accordingly for such a special place. So anyway he had that sneery, creepy, "would you like to see some puppies" look about him, you know? He also had a real bad perm AND a comb in his back pocket. Aw come on, what is going on here? Then there was this biker guy with a leather cap on, sunglasses over and holding a big cigar between his teeth while he danced away with a very young pretty thing who could dance pretty well actually and really looked out of place in Whispers. Bit like us really.
Unfortunately there were no fights this time, not even with the mullet lesbians in the corner, shame really, it's always fun to watch.
