Sat July 13, 2002 - 9:45am
I blame it ENTIRELY on Ty as she made me meet her and then FORCED me to drink tons of bloody wine at an alarming rate. Oh god to feel human again, just for a bit anyway......
The thing is, we met up at 4:30, kind of early to be drinking, but like I said, blame it on Ty. Actually we managed to get a small table outside "Bar 6" on 6th Avenue, I love this bar, always busy, fun and lively, but then again I would say that, never been in there sober. Anyway she filled me in on all the theatre gossip, nothing much, but Reed is leaving, big shame, huge asset to the company and also my right hand man with regards to the Vineyard web site...shame!!
So we had one bottle of wine, then Ty stopped as she had to drive, but by that time I was on a roll, so I just ordered "by the glass" which was really stupid, don't know why I didn't just order another bottle, cos I certainly drank at least a bottle and a half by myself. We got talking to a couple of women that were over on vacation from some bum fuck town out in the midwest I think. They were very nice but clearly on the hunt for a shag. It was obvious, especially with the prettier of the two, who looked positively rampant. They were asking where to go and eat where it would be lively with other "people". Yeah, these two were like "Sex and the City" girls but a lot older. They also talked constantly about children and asked me when I was going to have kids. Jesus for all they know I might NOT be able to have them. I mean why is it that total strangers feel that they can ask you such personal questions? it's really fucking annoying. Thank god Ty changed the conversation, actually though they were really quite nice, but the one called "Mary Anne" (told you they were from a bum fuck town) had the largest, bulbous nose EVER. Remember the guy from "Streets of San Francisco", who partnered with Michael Douglas, well her nose was just like his, boozers nose that is, my Uncle used to have one as well, due to excessive amounts of alcohol on a regular basis. Not quite sure why mine isn't the size of a clown, just lucky I guess.
They left, just as Morpheus was appearing, it must of been 8:30 by then, I wouldn't mind, he'd been home since 6:30, clearly going through his closet to find the "perfect" outfit, he's so gay that boy.
He didn't look very amused, I thought he was mad at me for not spending tonight with just him, but I think it was because I was drunk and kept shouting. I guess that would be annoying.
Now what I don't understand is that Ty had mentioned wanting to be kiss Olivia good night. So what does Olivia do shift work? because by this time it was nearly 11. I guess she missed the tucking in tonight. She eventually left just after 11 to get the 11:30 back to Washington, NJ. Myself and Morpheus headed straight to Kentucky Fried Chicken and ordered what can only be described as "shitloads of food". I can't remember the last time I ate from KFC, mashed potatoes and juicy legs of chicken....FANTASTIC MAN!!
TODAY
So I woke this morning to a huge flabby stomach and a very sore head. I did eventually drag my body AND my stomach downstairs to polish off the last of the chicken. Well I was starving AND hungover and you know what that's like, you gotta eat man, anything will do but generally it has to be savoury, with lots of fat attached.
So Candy came over today, she met us up on the roof deck, it wasn't such a great day to sunbathe, but it was just lovely to sit out and chit chat. Morpheus did a good workout but I had already worked out yesterday so didn't feel the need to exert myself today, although I bet my stomach would of disagreed.
Actually compared to some of the heffer lumps on the deck, I was positively blooming. I always find it extremely amusing that over-weight people, who don't workout ever, just use the deck and the pool, prance around with their fat asses sticking out and teeny tiny bikini's, parading around like they LOOK GOOD. You don't, sit down, put a one-piece on for christ sake.
Hey, I might have my fathers huge thighs and some-what protruding stomach, but at least I have bits of me that are hard body, better than most of the weebles wobble that you see up here.
I eventually left Morpheus and Candy upstairs to continue they're sleeping while slobbering all over their towels, while I nipped off to shower and then go see Josh, my fab hairdresser and pal.
Your gonna like this.........
So Josh tells me a while ago about this woman she knows called Mandy Norwood who used to be Editor of "Cosmopolitan" and then "Mademoiselle" which later closed down after September 11th. Anyway she is writing this book about married couples and what goes on BEHIND closed doors, and guess who she wants to interview? YEAH BABY MOI......
Can you believe it? I wouldn't mind but she's already had a lot of media coverage for this book, apparently it's going to be bigger than Bridget Jones and "Sex and the City". Well the thing is, it's not "in" to be single anymore, being married is the new cool.....you see I'm ALWAYS fashionable.....
So after myself and Josh stopped being hysterical and giggly and my hair was looking perfect I left and rang Mandy straight away. She's so sweet on the phone, really chatty and happy sounding, I felt immediately at ease. Anyway we arranged to meet this coming Tuesday morning at 10 so that she can interview me for the book. I don't know what she's going to ask me and I'm really nervous but I know she wants information regarding sex and do we still shag after being married and all that kind of stuff. Listen, I'd sell my mother out to get a mention in a book...no problemo!!
I'll finish off tonight's, on tomorrow's page......