Oh my god it was HORRIBLE.

This (above) is the baby that I was shooting, I mean look at the size of that thing?

So we get to Hoboken, walked to Carl's and he then shows us how we are supposed to stand, take the safety catch off, look at the scope, squeeze the trigger etc.

This is all very good and I guess I was slightly nervous and excited to be doing this but I had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA, what it would REALLY be like.

For starters I decided (for some stupid fucking reason) to wear my 3/4 length leather (fab DKNY) skirt, high boots, denim jacket, scarf etc. I really wasn't attired for a shooting range, but I honestly believe that unconciously I did this on purpose just to be rebellious.

So we walk from Carl's apartment to the shooting range, which is a good 15 minute walk, so of course my feet are KILLING ME, by the time we arrive.

The walk itself was a bit dodgy as the area we were in was very ish to say the least, you know lots of dudes and gangish type looking lads around (yeah I know it's Hoboken, so you can't really feel THAT threatened), but to be honest I was walking with my hubby (clearly tough mannish looking guy), and Carl (huge hulky guy) WITH a bag full of guns, so I guess I felt pretty safe.

I think the place is more scary than the actual shooting. The guy behind the desk that is covered with gun paraphanelia just stares at me in disbelief and sort of grunts at Morpheus. Carl clearly knows the ropes and asks for so-and-so. The whole shop stinks of smoke, sweaty track suit bottoms and another smell that I can quite distinguish have still have in my head which is freaking me out....yuck!!

So before we enter the door to the shooting range we have to put our ear and eye protectors on, clearly not very fashionable but I guess they do the trick.

Well I don't know about that.

So we walk in and the noise is tremendous, I've never heard volume like it. I can't quite describe it, it's so NOT like in the movie, the gun smoke smell is overwhelming plus the actual stench of this small un-aired, blocked off range is pretty disgusting to be honest.

So Carl goes into a cubicle and set up his guns. Either side of us were New York police officers no doubt using their "down-time" to play with their guns. One of them glanced over and just gave me a "what the fuck are you doing here?" look. Guess I should of expected that.

The one thing that really freaked me out is the empty bullet pellets that when the gun is fired come FLYING out and were generally aimed in my direction. Now that was really annoying, pellet cases smacking me in the face...HELLOOO???

They were also all over the floor so I kept sliding on them in my high heeled boots.

Whilst waiting for Carl me and Morpheus just stood looking very nervous and flinching every time a gun went off, which is so nerve wracking, my heart was pounding.

Then Carl turns and motions for me to pick up the gun. This I did with relative ease, balanced my footing so that I could get my shoulder right into it, clasped both my hands around the handle, Carl flicked off the safety catch and I was ready.

I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS......

When I pulled (I should say squeezed) the trigger, I honestly thought my hand was going to detach itself away from my wrist, the force was unbelievably strong and I couldn't even see the target that I was aiming for because of the huge flame that shoots out of the end of the gun, followed by sparks and smoke. People it's FUCK HORRIBLE, I HATED IT.

So I continue, until it got jammed, then Carl flipped the barrel and I carried on, not really wanting to be there and really just wanting my bullets to finish so that I could get the hell out of there.

I think I went through about 10 bullets, then put the gun down, motioned to Carl that I'd had enough and left the sweaty, nasty, all sweaty male room.

Now this for me is quite pathetic. For the people who know me they I'm sure will be pretty surprised by these turns of events, because, to be honest I'm not exactly your waify shy girlie type. No I'm like a big heifer, like one of the boys, well not all the time, but you know what I mean. So I guess not handling the gun thing was a surprise, certainly was to me.

But you know what I don't care, no I don't feel bad at all. In fact I'm pleased, because if you remember I was bit concerned about the fact that I might ENJOY IT....phew, thank god for that!!

So anyway I sat in the store part of the range and played with Morpheus's phone, checking out the wireless web and so on. Every now and then some of the guys that seemed to be just hanging there with the proprietor glanced over at me in disgust, but pretty much just left me alone. I did at one point look up at this guy who was checking out my boots and gave him my best "what the fuck are you looking at?" stare, which I've done to myself in the mirror and it's quite scary if I do say so myself.

Morpheus did come out at one point to see if I was ok but he still had his ear protectors on so couldn't hear me anyway the big doofus!

After 20 minutes or so the boys came out and we left.

So there you go a great shooting had by the boys but not really for me. Hey at least I had a go, glad I did, but you won't be seeing me signing up to the NRA....no thankyou!!

Oh yeah and when you see those movie where Brucey baby or Brosnan are running down the street holding their guns in one hand and just firing away. No way mate, those things weigh a bleedin ton. Oh yeah forgot to mention that Carl also had brought this huge motherfucker type gun that Morpheus had used and apparently it was so loud that one of the police officers put his head round their cubicle to see what sort of gun it was. Think about it you make a New York cop look up, then you've got yourself one godamn gun man.

Oh yeah also in the store in a glass case was a Walther PPK, you know the James Bond gun? Now that was cool, my dad would love to of seen that.

I was very glad to see Sumiko who picked us up because it was raining and then we went to a fabulous Cuban restaurant (Professor would LOVE IT) called "Kafra" on 3rd and Willow Street. The food was wonderful and the atmosphere was 'happening'.

By the time we got home I was completely exhausted and still reeling from the shock of firing a gun. I think Morpheus clearly enjoyed himself as he was acting very cocky and mannish, for instance, I'd put a carton of eggs in the fridge that afternoon and the door had smashed the front of them, so when Morpheus got HIMSELF (didn't get me one) a beer from the fridge he starts shouting from the kitchen that "eggs had broken", just kept saying, "eggs have broken". Not like getting some kitchen roll and wiping it up, no he just stood there like an idiot, saying "eggs are broken". What is he like, so I run in, clear it up, while I might add the dick is just stood there, ask him what's wrong?...."nothing" (with a weird smile) and decide to not bother pursuing the man's mind, it was clearly still on being a 'bad ass motherfucker at the gun range". WHATEVER!!