Basically Fox TV have landed themselves a little gold mine by way of "Joe Millionaire", on Mondays at 10pm I think. This guy above is called Evan, he is, in real life a construction worker, who earns $19,000.00 a year. Not a lot of money, but he seems to enjoy his work.
Now Fox TV came up with the idea to find a good looking man, like Evan, PRETEND that he has just inherited over $50,000,000 and let 30 women fight for his affections.
ONLY at the end of the program will the lucky girl find out that in fact he's worth zilcho!!
HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT?
So after we came home from "The Two Towers" last night, which by the way was fab, I played back my Tivo to see how this Joe Millionaire first showing had gone. It was brilliant, especially because I've pretty much (along with my brilliant supremo pal Ricky Moranis) decided who we hate the most and like the best.
You see we both HATE Heidi, 
she's full of herself, obnoxious, very competitive and what the fuck was the thing with his hand that she did last night....HO!! The thing is though is that he's noticed her, which is EXACTLY what she wanted to happen.
Now the one that myself, Ricky Moranis and Morpheus agree seems the nicest and the one that isn't so much into the money is Zora, 
looks a bit like Demi Moore don't you think. She seems genuinely nice, a bit heavier than the other girls, but gets away with it because she's tall.
But we like her, so do we want her to win right? Because if hse does win, she'll end up with just him and a zilchy $19,000.00. However IF she's the nice girl that we think she is, then she won't care and love him regardless. Whereas the Heidi bitch if she wins, she'll go fucking ballistic and that is good tv my friends.
I should give you a scenario from last night. Evan has arrived beforehand, flown in from the States over to France, to this big fuck off French Chateau, which really is quite magnificent. While he's there he gets personal tuition on how to eat properly, choose the correct wine with certain foods, dance, speak, ride a horse, basically everything to make him seem like he has class and pedigree. So then later on the chicks arrive, all of course in a horse drawn carriage, with two Cinderella looking ponsey carriage men on top, bit cheesy really. Of course as silly women do, they all start creaming themselves when they see this Chateau and immediately start to check out their competition.
So let's get to the point, the butler, Paul who is Australian tells them that in the room behind them is 30 dresses for them to pick one of, to wear to the ball that night. The Heidi bitch does some desperate strategising on who should go in the room first, but is totally blown out when the doors open and they all run in like cattle...it's great.
There's no ripping of dresses out of each other's clutches, but it came close. Of course the Heidi bitch is walking around all the time with TWO dresses so that she has another option to fall back on...BITCH, and so the others are pissed off but nobody seems to say anything.
Our favorite Zora is left with a black, velvet off the shoulder number that just doesn't go on her and so therefore has to walk away with nothing. Another nice girl eventually comes to the rescue and swaps her blue dress with shawl for the black velvet one. You see, it's all fair in the end, and you know what Zora looked fab.
So at the end of their brief introduction plus dance to Evan he had to decide who to give a string of pearls to (not real by the way). 25 got them, 5 didn't, simple as that.
And yes unfortunately in the pack he chose, Heidi bitch is one of them, but also lovely Zora is the other, so that's good.
Can't wait for next week....yes call me sad, I don't care, it's great
Listen you'll all be watching it, mark my words
