Finally she came running down the street, looking blonder than I'd remembered her? We had a cup of tea, caught up a bit then went in search of a greasy spoon (local breakfast restaurant) to have some brekky. It wasn't exactly greasy, far from it, rather nice actually and we sat outside, listen I'm telling you, this was unprecedented weather.
After a leisurely walk to her shoe shop and dry cleaning store we got home, quickly got our shit together and left the house to go and meet Bouchy Boy in the city for some drinkies. This is where gets a bit hazy and hairy to be honest.
Not sure where the pub was? but I know it was on the Thames as they're was water next to me and a very cool black boat with 3 guys in black army gear swishing up and down the embankment looking very cool, but I wasn't really sure exactly what the purpose of this high speed boating was all about? just posing for the tourists I'm sure?
Right then, so Bouchy Boy joined us, looking very fabulous and happy with life. Well he's was off tomorrow on holiday for two weeks, so after his meeting that finished at like 2pm, he was free to have some fun, and fun we had.
Well let's put it this way, the three of us got completely hammered, we were also joined by Lucy, Colin and Darren, but do I remember? do I fuck.
I know we had fun, and apparently at one point myself, Bouchy Boy and Miss Kensington were all sat on one side of this round table, and then we all moved together to go to the loo, but unfortunately this unbalanced the table somewhat, so on our asses we fell. I also think the table must have hit my front left thigh cos there's a big ass bruise there as well. Oops, bit drunk me thinks.
We did have a blast and we did eventually decide to leave, which was only at about 11 but we HAD been out since 2pm, so you can guess the state we were in.
So anyway this is where it gets insane, you see myself and Miss Kensington get a dodgy cab home, we get out a bit early and walk the rest of the way down her street, which I'm sure we must of looked a sight doing. We eventually get into her house, she passes out upstairs, I pass out downstairs, but then later on wake up. I panic because I don't recognise my surroundings, in fact I still think I'm in Manhattan, so I get up, put my shoes on and my jacket and head out the door.
HELLLOOOO, only then realise that I'm outside Miss Kensington's place, so turn start knocking, of coursese missy is passed out upstairs, an earthquake wouldn't move that woman, but I still keep trying, even shouting through the letter box, until the neighbors start screaming at me to shut up. So I go to sit down and call Colleen who lives on the same street but at number 137 (Miss K is at 29) her phone is off, so I leave a frantic message, then call back because by this time it's like getting on for 1am and I'm a little scared just sitting on her stoop in the middle of Clapham in the middle of the night. So the second message is quite teary, I start to panic again, stand up and DROP MY FUCKING PHONE, so that smashes all over the place, I lose it completely then, start crying, panicking, oh my god, what am I going to do? I can't sit on her front doorstep all night, some creeps might walk by, I might get mugged, robbed or mucworsese.
So I decide that the best thing for myself to do is find the nearest police station and stay there for the night. And that's exactly what I did, walked to the main road, hailed a cab, and ended up at Battersea Police Station. Probably the most embarrassing night of my life, but hey I was safe and relatively warm, although sleeping on a metal bed without a blanket all night kinda sucks, but what was I supposed to do? Actually the duty officer at the time, this small lesbian bitter woman who hated me on site, well she found Miss Kensington's land line number, but unfortunately she wouldn't let me use the phone behind the desk, so I had to keep going outside and walk 100 yards down the road to the phone box to call her, which really was a complete waste of time because she was sleeping like the dead. I eventually gave up, went back and asked if I could bunk in the cell for the night, but the bitch was having none of it, hence why I didn't have a blanket, they thought I would leave the station with it otherwise.
YEAH RIGHT, nice shitty, grey blanket, oh yeah I'm sure that would go nicely with my loft bedroom set upstairs.
At one point, because I didn't exactly sleep that well - I heard the duty officer bitching to another police woman that I was a pain and that I was asking all kinds of questions etc, so of course later on when she came out to check on me, I told her that I was aware that she disliked me intensely, but that I didn't appreciate her bitching about me to another officer, especially as she was totally embellishing everything....cow. She actually looked quite sheepish, but then promptly turned on her heels back to her safe warm, secure office and played Solitaire again.
After her shift was over, around 4am I guess, another duty officer took over who was a sweet little gay cop, who I doubt had EVER done the beat, oh yeah, he was a total "sit behind the desk in front reception" kind of copper you know? He brought me coffee, he was very sweet. So that was it really, I did actually sleep, I remember at one point it was 7, then the next thing is was 9:20, so I shot up, thanked the duty officer, ran out got a cab, got to a cash machine, got to Miss Kensingtons and knocked on the door.
AND SHE ANSWERED........YES!!
She couldn't believe the story, much like you guys I suspect, but it didn't matter, I was just glad to be there and the two of us went back upstairs and curled up in her bed, not really bothering if we saw daylight again.
SHIT AND THIS WAS THE FIRST DAY.
I'll be back with more.